Wednesday, November 04, 2009

iThe Hills/i Reality Check: 'I'm Done With You'

iThe Hills/i Reality Check: 'I'm Done With You'

This season, we watched as Spencer’s mood flattened until last night’s proof that MTV’s resident villain had died. Heidi tried to get a rise out of him by talking birthday parties, diamond gifts, and kids, but still couldn’t pull Spencer out of his funk. Even when producers spoon-fed him a single line reminiscent of the Spencer we grew to resent, his lifeless delivery ruined the intended effect: Heidi served him coffee and Spencer said, bored, “This married life is starting to pay off. I’m getting delivery service.” Last season, we would have ripped the thin blond beard hair-by-hair out of our Spencer Voodoo Dolls because of this chauvinistic remark. But last night, we felt kind of bad for him and wondered if he had jumped onto the propofol-mainlining rage, calling an unethical doctor to his house before the crew arrived to ensure that he would be unconsciousness through the entirely derivative shoot.

At Heidi’s self-coordinated birthday party party, Spencer passed up a few prime opportunities to humiliate his guests. He meandered around the set nonchalantly until he finally presented Heidi with his producer-supplied gift: two puppies in a designer carrier. When Heidi hugged the unfortunate fluffballs, Spencer muttered something about how the puppies were the only babies she would ever have. Meanwhile, a producer off-camera considered sending a PA out to Colorado to burn down Heidi’s family’s home so that they’d have to crash at Speidi’s house indefinitely. But even that would not awake Spencer from his despondence.

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