I will be honest the last couple days since the show have been a complete rollercoaster.
I wanted to take some time after watching the episode to really take the whole experience in. Am i proud of what i did. NO. Am i ashamed of how it all turned out YES.
Everyone by now knows me and my attitude. Do i get angry, YEA ,do i get upset OFTEN.... Do i get violent ,,,,,, Now before i answer that one just look at my track record. I have been on countless challenges for MTV, i have been on other shows for VH1 and in all that time i have never put my hands on anyone in a act of violence.
Everyone has noticed in the clips that the guys are saying that Veronica said something that she shouldn't of and she took it too far. Everyone wants to know what she said that set me off. And there is a part of me that just wants to put it out there, and there is a part of me that is still not ready to talk about it publicly. All i will say is there are certain things that you can never say to a women. There are certain traumatic experiences that scar people for life and no women wants to relive of be reminded of. And for anyone to bring them up with the intent to hurt someone is totally uncalled for. THAT is the reason i was crying in Evans arms and with all the guys. Was i upset that i hit her...Yes... But i was more hurt and betrayed that she would bring that up. Like i said no women wants to be reminded of that happening to them. And veronica knew what she was doing. I can't believe she was surprised when the team had my back. Little miss veronica couldn't hide her spots this time.... Well she didn't have anyone to hide behind.
Everyone has by now seen the clip of us on youtube.
If you notice she puts her hands on me first. She actually pushes me in the face and then trys to through her cup of romin noodles on me. And yes that water was boiling hot. Hell she even says "YES I WANT YOU TO HIT ME" and even after she pushed me and threw that shit on me i didn't hit her. It was only after what she said, and how deep it cut that i lost it.
I just want to thank Wes for breaking us up. I wish it would of been done sooner and things wouldn't of happened that way, but i can not change the past. But I love him for jumping in. I respect him not only as a competitor but as a friend. And i know Wes gets a bad rep for the things that he does. But he is just playing the game. After all it is only a game. For every move kenny and Evan made wes would counter in his own unique way. And you can't hate his game play if it works.
I wish i could tell all of you that i am sorry, but honestly i am not.... I don't condone violence or my behavior but i will not apologize for finally kicking the crap out of the girl who bullied everyone on the playground. She had it coming.